Way way back before Mr. HuniorsBar and Mrs. HuniorsBar got married, I was at a party at Mr. HuniorsBar’s house. After several beverages, I decided that it was time for me to learn to play the guitar. So, I hit up a friend with a guitar, and asked him to teach me. He said OK. The first step, to learn one chord. For whatever reason, he started with the G chord. He told me to keep practicing getting, and holding my fingers in that position. He would play a few songs, indicating when I should chime in with my one G chord. It was fun. After a while, the party started dying down. I, of course, was still sitting there playing my one chord. I wrote a song. I can’t remember all of it now, but it went something like this:
I am sitting on the couch and I’m really really bored.
I am sitting on the couch and I’m playing the G chord.
Ooh… Ooh… Ooh… Geeeeeeee Chord!
Maybe we are all better off for me failing miserably at any musical talent?
More recently, I declared on Facebook, Twitter, and anywhere else that I could think of that I was planning to fire my G key. I was talking about the G key on my computer, but it prompted lots of pointed questions and innuendos about my underwear. My friends have minds in the gutter!
In any case, the problem is that my G key often does not work. Oddly, it is usually at the end of a sentence. This leaves me with things such as “thinkin,” “readin,” and “spellin.” Being as though I often find myself unable to stop grammar policing people, this misfiring G Key has become a bit of a problem. My announcement of plans to fire the key were, of course, premature. In reality, I do not know how to replace a key on a keyboard, or even if it is replaceable. But, in the mean time, I will be attaching myself to my spell checker.